Embracing a Coach Mindset to Unlock Performance
Coaching is a core competency that enables you put the leadership traits of authenticity, empathy, and flexibility into practice. Today’s newsletter focuses on three basic skills you can apply to every scenario with your team: listen intuitively, connect on a human level, and ask empowering questions.
Listen Intuitively
In the past, leaders took on the role of holding all the answers and took a more directive approach to communication. Team meetings were used for status updates to progress corporate goals and the ownership of success was bestowed upon the leader. Now the role of leadership in the workplace is shifting.
With your coach mindset on, you walk into every conversation with curiosity. Instead of telling your team what to do, you try to understand where they are at as valued individuals and how you can support them to achieve a big bold vision. You understand that your team holds the answers, and by listening and asking the right questions you can unlock them.
Intuitive listening requires you to listen without judgement (good or bad) or attachment (steering the conversation). Instead, you listen for what is being said and not said. Look for the nonverbal cues to share the full story and the feelings behind the words. Notice changes of energy and team dynamics.
For example, notice when someone lights up with an idea or becomes disengages from the conversation because they appear frustrated about the direction of next steps proposed by another team member. More than just providing answers to complex topics, they are also telling you their levels of engagement and motivation to get things done.
Start today: Become aware of the percentage of time you are listening versus asking or telling in conversations where you are the leader. Does this percentage change in meetings where you are not the leader or when the medium changes (in person vs. online meetings vs. messaging channels)?
Connect on a Human Level
In the past, showing emotion may have been seen as a sign of weakness and leaders and employees were told to avoid being emotional at work. Now, being vulnerable is a sign of strength and signals that everyone is entitled to a work environment and community where they feel psychologically safe.
With your coach mindset on, you want to understand how colleagues are feeling and support them by seeing the whole human in front of you. We are equal as humans and are all entitled to experience a full range of emotions.
For example: there is a member on your team who misses deadlines and it’s now impacting the teams’ progress towards completing a project. The team member shares that they have so much to do and are moving as fast as possible. The team member does not understand how they could get more work done faster when they are already maxed out and now you are now putting even more pressure on them.
When you connect on a human level, you acknowledge what the other person is experiencing and share it back to them. Further, you want to validate that everyone experiences this emotion at times and that it understandable for them to feel this way.
Back to the example: the leader could respond by saying “We work in a fast-paced environment and you are responsible for a number of our strategic initiatives. It’s understandable you are feeling overwhelmed. We all feel that way at times.”
By acknowledging the situation and validating the emotion, you demonstrate that you see the whole person and understand how they are feeling because emotions are universal. You remove blocks of “you versus me” and shift to a “we are in this together” mentality. As a result, connection is strengthened, and colleagues are open for collaboration, support, and feedback.
Start today: Take note of a feeling that comes up in a conversation with a colleague you trust. When you are comfortable, share your observation with the trusted colleague. “Seems like you are experiencing X. It makes sense you are feeling Y. We all feel Y at times”. At the end of the conversation, ask for feedback to understand how in tune you were to their situation and emotion.
Ask Empowering Questions
As a leader, it is not your job to give a solution to every challenge. It is to listen to topics as they arise and solicit feedback from your team to understand what's beneath the surface, what should be resolved and how they would approach it.
With your coach mindset on, you know that your team has the potential to solve any challenge that comes their way. Your role is to help them unlock it.
It is a very powerful concept. There are so many ways to solve any challenge and you probably already have a solution in mind but, as the leader on your team, you must think through who is actually doing the work. Any parent knows that the success rate of a toddler getting dressed is much higher when it is their idea. The same rationale applies here, if you want your solution to be successful you may want to consider who is giving the solution. It comes down to ownership.
Back to those empowering questions, a few things you may want to consider:
Ask open ended questions (who, what, how) instead of closed ended questions (yes or no, option A or B)
Dive deep on topics and then come back to the surface to understand more topics at a high level before diving deep again. Stay curious and connect the dots as you go. Understand topics fully before jumping to solutions.
As you understand topics on a deeper level, it is so easy to slip into a “why” question to understand the underlying dynamics but try to think of another way to rephrase the question (without why) that gives you a more constructive answer. For example, “what about X, is important to Y?” or “what barriers are holding us back from moving Z forward?”
Start today: Become aware of the types of questions you are asking and how your team is currently resolving challenges. How well are they aligned with the framework above?
